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...could i be her nine? [Sep. 8th, 2010|03:13 am]

I haven't been on here in forever....
So this might be a lot...
And away we go...Collapse )And away we go...Collapse )

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my dreams are worth more to me than these people. [Feb. 5th, 2010|10:45 am]
"Many people lead a safe, secure life, and die full of regrets for the dreams they gave up on. Others might struggle financially all of their life, never make much money, yet let die with a smile, knowing they’ve spent a life chasing the things which mattered most to them."
-Darren Shan

That quote is dedicated to my best friend.
I will not put out all of the feelings I have about the conversation we had a couple weeks ago , but I had to get this off my chest because the things she said have really shaken me.

I may not be the best singer in the world, I may not been able to hit the notes that some singers can, but I CAN sing.
I will get further than anyone in this god forsaken town.
I do not doubt this. Whether I am a singer, writer, make up artist, chef or whatever ( i have very diverse tastes).

It hurts to know that your best friend fails to see the things that I can do.
It hurts alot more than I can express.

I would rather die completely poor, then change my dreams.
I will prove you wrong.
Just watch me.
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press charges. seriously. [Jan. 21st, 2010|03:36 pm]
[Tags|, , , ]
[Current Mood |sympatheticsympathetic]
[Current Music |owl city]

wow..... read this and the links too.
fangirls/boys ruin the fun for everyone.


poor guy....
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(no subject) [Dec. 24th, 2009|01:54 pm]
Hey everyone!

I am trying to make dinner for my parents tonight, as a thanks for not throwing me out gift, and I am making this recipe, http://fortheluvoffood.blogspot.com/2009/08/roasted-garlic-tomato-and-parsley.html.

Sorry about the link, my computer isn't working like it should for some reason.

Anyway, its roasted garlic, tomato and parsley spaghetti and I was wondering what kind of fish (preferably not very expensive)would go with it?
I would use chicken but my parents always make chicken and I think its time for something different.

Please let me know.

Thank you so much!
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(no subject) [Dec. 24th, 2009|11:28 am]
I feel like and angsty teenager when i'm at work.
I sincerely hate being here every day and I know everyone says that, and no one likes to work, but I hate being here.
The people are I work for are bigots with no social life but work. They are all at least 20 years older than me and they look down on me because of it. Its not that I act immature or like a teenager but because of the way I dress and carry myself they look at me like I dont know what I'm doing. I mean, not all of them do this but My boss in particular does it.
I am looking for a new job because I just can't take this anymore.
I am a perfectly upstanding person and I do not deserve to be treated any different than the older people here.

Plus, I have been covering work for people that aren't doing theirs and yet am being paid the same exact amount that I was paid when I first started (over a year ago).
I don't believe this is asking to much to be appreciated and given a raise for all of the extra work I have been taking on because of other peoples retardary.
Correct me if I'm wrong but I have every right to tell them to take this job and shove it.
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(no subject) [Jul. 30th, 2009|03:15 pm]


i hate people. have i said that yet???????

why do they think they are so much better than me because they're old???



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(no subject) [Jul. 30th, 2009|02:16 pm]
[Current Mood |anxiousanxious]

Today has been just one of those days......
and it isn't even over yet....

about to storm like a bitch again. like it has everyday this week.
It's beautiful.

She makes me feel like its raining out side.Collapse )

And when the storm's gone i'm all torn up inside.
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I've now got the new LiveJournal Messenger. [Jul. 30th, 2009|09:13 am]
I've now got the new LiveJournal Messenger. My Windows Live ID is lilmissmisfit@livejournal.com. Sign up now and we can chat!
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(no subject) [Jul. 29th, 2009|01:48 pm]
So i pretty sure no one reads these anymore.
and if they do no one really cares enough to comment.
I dunno....
i feel very...something today... I dont even know what it is anymore.
I wanna go home but i still have two hours to be here, and even when i go home i dont know what i'm going to do.
I always feel like it always takes so long to get off of work but then when i get home the time goes by too damn quick and then it's time to go to bed again.
I hate sleep..well i love sleep but i hate that i have to go to bed so early cause i have to get up so early, like i went to bed at 10:15 last night, and i still hit the snooze button like 80 times...and as a result i didn't get to take a shower like i wanted and pretty much had to throw on clothes and make up to get to work on time. Though if i wouldn't have stopped at the gas station i could have taken a shower and saved money.

Peoples imagination never cease to amaze me. I wish i had half the imagination people have...i mean i want to be a writer i just dont think i'm good enough for that....
i dunno, i guess you dont know unles you try but i feel like i'll be setting myself up for failure if i do. I dunno....
Im just down on myself lately and nothing really has helped me get over that.
Warped tour helped a little cause i felt like i was getting back into myself but now i'm back home, back into the same old routine of corporate america and it sucks.
I feel like...i dunno a sell out or something....I just dont have the passion anymore.
And how can i really enjoy life if i have no passion...

I wanna go down to the beach this weekend and watch the sun rise. I really do. ALOT. I think my car could make it there....i kinda don't wanna try but i do at the same time....

I just feel so jaded and tired.
I want something new and exciting...i want a new life, a new place and just new everything.

I think i might just move to charlotte...or something... i dunno i just need out. i need to be away from cary again....this happens every couple years...i just get the urge to get away for like 6 months... or not even, just something new and fun.

Things aren't fun anymore....i hate that.

i'm so bored again. like i was in high school, just complacent. I'm in a rutt and i dont know how to get out.....and sometimes i feel like i can't get out.
Then the times that i feel like i can i dont feel like actually doing anything about them....i'm just a pussy. i dont like to do things alone, so i want someone there every second when i do anything...but thats not how i should live my life....always having to be with someone...i need to learn to live with me and do things for me because ultimately who is going to do it for me? NO ONE but me.

It just sucks....cause i dont want to be grown up yet but at the same time i can't wait to just grow up and not have to do this anymore.

Very few things happen that make me truly happy...i just try to act like it most of the time as to not upset everyone else......
I don't even enjoy video games anymore, what kind of messed up reality is this???? I mean really?

The only thing i do that i mildly enjoy is read and hang out with my sister and becki.

Shit happens. But why does it happen to me?

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(no subject) [Jul. 28th, 2009|11:17 am]
Alright so is it my problem that when i page available sales and no one comes out and then the customer leaves?
I am the receptionist, there is only so much i can do for these people.
I mean i call for sales, i tell them someone should be out shortly, how is my fault if someone doesn't come out shortly like they need to?


Anyway....i dunno....
i was gonna write more but i'm just not feeling it...though i love just typing...

oh i've found that i like the sound of the keys on the keyboard, i also love reading random peoples stuff cause i like living through other people and books....thats stupid though...
i need to live my life...but it just so much easier to just read....

i'm a little pathetic...

ugh my stomach hurts and i dont wanna be here.
i haven't eatten just drank to cups of tea and a juice box of apple juice...
i just dont really wanna eat...i mean i have food for lunch upstairs but i dont think im gonna eat too much of that... i dunno....
I go through this every like 2 weeks.
I need to just go on a real like diet or like eating right cause i need to lose weight.
I dont mind the way i look but i would like to look better, healthy but not a twig.
oh well i'll update more later.
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